Benjamin Cummings: Fitness & Wellness WebSite

Is It Love or Infatuation?

To print this activity, download it as a pdf file, lab13.pdf

Purpose:
In the early stages, love and infatuation can be very similar emotions. They both produce a characteristic rush of excitement as well as a strong desire to have more of the loved one's time, energy, and contact. The primary difference is that with love, the feelings often grow deeper as you get to know the person better and come to appreciate him or her more. With infatuation or a crush, you begin to realize that Ms. or Mr. Right wasn't all you had thought. Taking the following test may help you determine whether it's the real thing or merely a case of infatuation.

Directions:
Respond YES or NO to the following statements:

Yes No	1. I knew I was in love with the person almost immediately.
Yes No	2. Even though I've known the person for a while, I still really love his/her personality.
Yes No	3. I wonder sometimes if the person has changed a lot since I've known him/her because he/she acts differently around me now.
Yes No	4. The more I'm with the person, the more I want to be around him/her.
Yes No	5. I am less interested in the person sexually than I was in the beginning.
Yes No	6. The more I know about the person, the more I want to be around him/her.
Yes No	7. The more I know about the person, the less interested I am in him/her.
Yes No	8. I feel really good associating with this person and being regarded as a couple.
Yes No	9. I have begun to notice more things wrong with this person and spend a lot of time trying to get him/her to change.
Yes No	10. Even though I have been with this person for a while, I am still just as sexually interested as I was in the beginning.
Yes No	11. I find that I'd just as soon do things with other people as with this person because I'd probably have more fun.
Yes No	12. I am able to share my feelings with this person and trust him/her completely.
Yes No	13. I really love this person but don't feel good about sharing intimate feelings with him/her yet.
Yes No	14. This person brings out the best in me and genuinely seems to care about me.
Yes No	15. I love this person, but I don't respect him/her the way I respect others.

Scoring:
There are no right or wrong responses to these statements. However, answering "yes" to the even-numbered statements may indicate that your feelings are more likely to be love-directed. In contrast, answering "yes" to the odd-numbered statements may indicate a tendency toward infatuation rather than love. Count the number of yeses to the even-numbered statements and the number of yeses to the odd-numbered statements. Look carefully at each statement. Are these things that you feel important enough to work on? Or are your responses telling you that another person may be a better choice?